If you haven’t used a sewing machine before, you have NO idea what I’m talking about but I encourage you to read on nonetheless.
Having a bobbin run out on you mid-sew is quite annoying. You’ve cut all your pieces, pinned them in place, sew, sew, sew…and you take out your project and the last 4 inches don’t hold.
The bobbin ran out of thread.
Throw another one in, you say.
You can’t. Unless you have a back-up already loaded – which I don’t have enough to do so. So you have to pull the bobbin out, re-thread the thread to prepare it, load the bobbin with thread, put the bobbin back in the machine, and coax the bobbin thread up through the machine and THEN you can finish those last 4 inches.
Most times this happens, I stop sewing and pick it up again later because I am tired from everything else and sew to relax and be creative. When it comes to the work part – or getting annoyed, which happens easily when your almost-8-month-old is still trying to figure out sleeping through the night – I would rather address that at the beginning of a new sewing session rather than the end of one.
Which is why I’m writing this. To get out the thoughts I’ve been thinking as I’ve contemplated refilling the bobbin and just finish the project right now.
Rewind a few years and I’m a new teacher totally frustrated with the fact that there is never a finish line with my students. I don’t get to see the end result. There is no completion. But they get report cards, you say. They leave your class and move on, you say. But they’re not finished! The fruition of the work that I put in as their educator, counselor, babysitter, big sister, psychologist, therapist, encourager, etc won’t come to pass until their well into their 20s (or later) and I don’t get to be there to see it.
Let’s just say I really struggled with this. Which is why I started baking and cooking in earnest. Sure, I had learned before then and enjoyed it but I found a new purpose in it: you mix the ingredients, cook/bake it, and it’s done. Sure, the dish might taste awful and you still have to do the dishes but it’s done. Over. Completed. While it is all well and good that I found an outlet for my frustration, I think that I actually was a bit off.
I think that I actually needed to learn to be okay with things not being finished, complete. Which motherhood is teaching me just fine. You can’t push something to completion because, well, it will come with time rather than effort. Perhaps it is that I am so tired I don’t have any other choice. Maybe it’s because there are SO MANY THINGS that are unfinished (and that is definitely my own fault for starting so many). But ultimately I think God wants me to be okay with just being and when I am between things, to go to Him to get filled back up so that I can restart.
I am definitely an amateur sewer. My grandmother – who has an entire sewing room – has so many colors of thread. I only have 19 different colors. But I don’t have 19 bobbins. So when I want to use a new color I almost always have to fill up another bobbin. Causing me to slow down, think about what is getting loaded onto the bobbin, the potential it has, how it will fit into the creation I’m piecing together.
How much does God do that to us? Make us slow down, think about what He is pouring into us, the potential His power has in us, and how what we do fits into His plan? Whatever God has me working on, if I run out of whatever I need for it – patience, understanding, love – He’ll give me a graceful way to duck out, invite me to come to Him to fill up with whatever I am out of, and then get back to work.
Shared over at Gracelaced Mondays…